Orochi Bash!
by da Panda
Summary: The author has control to all Warriors Orochi characters, and total randomness awaits! WARNING: RANDOMNESS, some sexual content, and drunken ninjas!


Orochi Bash

**Orochi Bash!**

Panda-chan: "Yes! All of the Warriors Orochi characters are in my grasp!"

-Spots Masamune-

Panda-chan: "INCLUDING THIS CUTIE!" –Glomps him-

Masamune: "Get off of me…NOW!"

Panda-chan: "He's even meaner in person, tehehe!"

-Wall bursts, Ginchiyo and her super strength barges in-

Ginchiyo: "What the hell is this place?"

Panda-chan: "My house…you sure made a good "Kool-Aid Man" entrance there…"

Ginchiyo: "What are you talking about?"

Cao Pi: "Why did you summon us here?"

Panda-chan: "Cuz I love you all!" –Glances at Dong Zhuo- "EXCEPT YOU!"

Dong Zhuo: "Damn."

Panda-chan: "Masamune, it's an honor to meet you…tehehe…" –Strokes Masamune's arm-

Masamune: "Don't touch me, woman!"

Magoichi: "Hey now, be respectful to the ladies…like this…" –Magoichi walks up to Zhen Ji- "How are you doing in that fragile figure?"

-Zhen Ji kicks him in the place where the sun doesn't shine, Magoichi wobbles back-

Masamune: "Nice strategy…"

Magoichi: "Shut up…"

Xiao Qiao: "So…uh…what are we supposed to do?"

Panda-chan: "Anything random, that's all…"

Oichi: "OMG, SPIDERRRRRR!"

Panda-chan: "Where? Where? Where?"

Nagamasa: "On Lu Bu's head…" –Points at Lu Bu, oblivious to the critter on his head-

Lu Bu: "THIS IS ALL NONSENSE! SOMEONE STAND UP TO FIGHT THE MIGHTY LU BU!"

Panda-chan: "I got it! I'll save you Masamune!" –Grabs frying pan and continuously smacks the spider on Lu Bu's head, he soon collapses to the floor unconscious-

Panda-chan: "VICTORY!"

Masamune: "I think you killed him…"

Panda-chan: "Everyone, let's play truth or dare!"

-Every single character gathers in a large circle, a glass bottle is in the center-

-Panda-chan spins, it lands on Mitsunari-

Panda-chan: "Truth or dare…"

Mitsunari: "Er…dare?"

Panda-chan: "MAKE OUT WITH CAO PI!"

Cao Pi: "WHAT?!"

Zhen Ji: "WHAT?!"

Cao Cao: "WHAT?!"

Yuan Shao: "Hot…"

-Silence…-

Diao Chan: "Oh dear God…"

Panda-chan: "Yaoi can be a little exciting…do it or you have to take off a piece of clothing!"

Mitsunari: "When did this suddenly turn into Strip truth or dare?"

Panda-chan: "Well…?"

Mitsunari: "I won't do it!" –Starts to take off a sock-

Panda-chan: "Poopsicles…"

-Mitsunari spins bottle, it lands on Hanzo, who doesn't move-

Mitsunari: "Truth or dare, Hanzo?"

Hanzo: "…"

Mitsunari: "Hanzo?"

Hanzo: "…"

Mitsunari: "What's up with you?"

Hanzo: "My time has come to find an enemy…" –Hanzo walks away and goes outside, you hear children screaming-

Mitsunari: "Uh…should I spin again?"

Panda-chan: "Sure, why not?"

-Mitsunari spins once more, it lands on Lu Bu, still unconscious-

Mitsunari: "God dammit, land on someone awake!"

-Mitsunari spins the bottle again, it lands on Dong Zhuo-

Dong Zhuo: "DARE ME!"

Mitsunari: "Um…" –snickers- "I dare you to make out with…"

Dong Zhuo: "YES? YES?"

Mitsunari: "CAO PI!"

Cao Pi: "WHY THE HELL IS IT ALWAYS ME?"

Zhen Ji: "HE'S STRAIGHT, READERS!"

Panda-chan: "Or…is he?" –laughs deviously-

Zhen Ji: "I'm about to kill you, little girl…"

Dong Zhuo: "No way! I'm a woman-lover! For the Lord's sake above!" –Takes off a sock-

-Dong Zhuo spins bottle, it lands on Xiao Qiao-

Dong Zhuo: "Truth or dare?" –Smiles deviously-

Xiao Qiao: "To avoid anything disgusting involving you, truth…"

Dong Zhuo: "_Girl knows what she's doing…_Okay, um…is it true that…?"

Xiao Qiao: "Yes, I'm only 16 years old and I'm married to a 25-year old strategist…"

Dong Zhuo: "Um…yeah…"

-Xiao Qiao spins bottle, it lands on Masamune-

Xiao Qiao: "Truth or dare, Masamune?"

Masamune: "Dare me! I'll do anything!"

Xiao Qiao: "Touch Panda-chan's boob!" –Xiao points at Panda-chan, who grins widely-

Panda-chan: "HELLS YES! THANKS A MILLION XIAO!"

Masamune: "A-Absurd!"

Panda-chan: "You said you would do anything…" –Sticks out chest- "Your move, dragon boy…"

Masamune: -gulps- "Well…I…" –Lifts hand…until…-

Hanzo: -Crashes through window- "AYEAYEAYEAYE!"

-Silence, everyone stares at Hanzo, also unconscious in the middle of the circle-

Sun Shang Xiang: "What…was that?"

Ina: "I'm afraid to ask…"

Panda-chan: "Hanzo's drunk?" –Spots a beer bottle in his hands- "Sweet…"

-Hanzo stands up-

Hanzo: "All cows are girls!"

Kunoichi: "What has gotten to your noggin', boy?"

Hanzo: "Fertilizer is poop!"

Lu Bu: -Wakes up- "WHO DARE ATTACKED ME? SHOW YOURSELF!"

Hanzo: -Beer bottle accidentally crashes on Lu Bu's head, Lu Bu again collapses- "Humans are mammals!"

Mitsunari: "Hanzo's totally lost…"

Nagamasa: "Yes…"

Hanzo: "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

Panda-chan: "Um…awkward…"

Hanzo: "Beans make you gassy!"

Kunoichi: "How are we gonna get him out of this state?"

Diao Chan: "Sh-Should we call 911?"

Kunoichi: "That would be best…"

Ginchiyo: "I'm as tough as they come!"

Hanzo: "Through the fire and the flames we carry on!"

Nobunaga: "This is all foolish…I pity you all…" –Grabs Noh's hand- "Come, Noh, we're leaving this hellhole…"

Noh: "Thank God…"

Hanzo: "Hugs not drugs!" –Runs into Nobunaga and Noh, they both collapse-

Masamune: "Why is this all so random?"

Panda-chan: "Cuz I'm bored…hehe…a little too bored…come, there's more fun in my bedroom, Masamune…"

Masamune: "Not a chance!"

Okuni: "Ooh, we can all play hide and seek!"

Panda-chan: "Uh…with over 79 characters in one small house, that'll be a little too easy…"

Okuni: "You'll never know…"

Panda-chan: "Sure why not! Let's all hide and Hanzo has to find us!"

Hanzo: "Smells like teen spirit!"

Panda-chan: "See, he's gonna seek us all!"

-Everyone manages to hide in less than five minutes, Hanzo starts seeking…-

Meanwhile…

Masamune: "Hid just in time…say; what room did I hide in, anyway?"

Panda-chan: "My room!"

Masamune: "Oh…shit…"

Panda-chan: "YAY!" –Pins Masamune down on bed-

"NO! NO! NOT THERE! NOT THEEEEEEEERE!"

Mitsunari: "Shut up, we're trying to hide!"

Masamune: "DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT SHE'S DOING TO ME?!"

Mitsunari: "I hear footsteps, Hanzo is coming this way…"

Hanzo: -Opens the door- "HAHA! SUMO WRESTLING!"

Masamune: "_Help me…_"

See you in the randomness of chapter two!


End file.
